Musical Holocron

This should be an easy guide for the uninitiated and a reference for the trained musician. How do you explain rhythm? Turn short phrases into rhythm examples. If I was sharing this chart with someone learning music for the first time, I'd point out that each note set with bars along the top are ONE beat. So start clapping your hands together in a rhythm, then say each set along with that beat.

Found via Imgur.

Labels: funny, images, music, music/notation, rhythm

# posted by ArcoJedi : 22:25  0 comments

Here at Worship Artistry we're always equipping you to bring your best. Well, here's 10 ways to be the best at being the worst.

Learn more: 10 Ways to Be The Worst Worship Musician Ever | Worship Artistry

1. Never stop playing.
2. Recognize every song you play is beneath you.
3. Don’t waste money on a tuner.
4. Take on an irritated demeanor when motioning your sound engineers.
5. Understand that you are never loud enough.
6. Make sure everyone knows your time is more valuable than theirs.
7. Play the wrong part.
8. Find a sidekick.
9. Be competitive.
10. Above all, you need to realize is that the worship team is all about you.

Labels: blogs, christian, Delicious, funny, genre/christian, music, music/artists, music/guitar

# posted by ArcoJedi : 16:03  0 comments

Virtual Piano enables you to innovate and entertain with music. To empower you to experience the piano online!

Learn more: Virtual Piano | The Original Best Piano App Online

Labels: Delicious, funny, kids, music, music/piano, music/software, teachers, technology, technology/software

# posted by ArcoJedi : 22:25  0 comments

The force is strong with Empire Strikes Brass. With the capability to perform as a full 10 piece stage band, 6-7 piece combo lineup, add DJ Push/Pull for an electronic set, or take you to New Orleans by transforming into a true second line parade, ESB's versatility allows them to adapt to virtually any party setting imaginable. The group is comprised of veteran musicians who have honed their skills with, and been regular members of acts such as; Squirrel Nut Zippers, Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe, and Big Ol’ Nasty Get Down. As a sit in horn section, Empire Strikes Brass have been featured in collaborations with many acclaimed artists, including; Beats Antique, Warren Haynes, Andy Frasco, Rubble Bucket, Roosevelt Collier, Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, and The Fritz, to name a few. The energy wielded by Empire Strikes Brass is more than simple Jedi mind tricks, it's a full force experience that will take you on a ride to the dark side and back!

Learn more: Empire Strikes Brass

Labels: Delicious, download, funny, local, local/new-orleans, music, music/artists, music/artists/empire-strikes-brass, music/trombone, music/trumpet

# posted by ArcoJedi : 16:54  0 comments

Welcome to Infauxmedia, home of Star Wars - The Musical. Here, you can experience all of the sights and sounds of the show through streaming audio and video. Any questions you have about the production can be answered from our FAQ. The site has grown and evolved quite a bit since it first came online in 1999. So, have fun exploring all the new content!

Learn more: Star Wars-The Musical

Labels: Delicious, download, fans, fantasy, funny, music, music/artists, star-wars, star-wars/episodeiv

# posted by ArcoJedi : 01:56  0 comments

Touch Pianist helps you experience some of the thrill of performing beautiful piano music composed by the masters, using nothing more than your computer. Use any of the keys on your computer keyboard (or tap your screen on a touch screen) to trigger the next musical event. If you can manage to get the rhythm right, you will hear the music as you want it. This is not much like a computer game. There is no score keeping. You are free to perform the music using your device in any way you desire. If you want to watch how a piece might be performed, go to main menu and choose "Watch" for the piece you want Have great fun.

Learn more: Touch Pianist - Tap in Rhythm and Perform Your Favourite Music

Labels: Delicious, flash, funny, kids, music, music/artists, music/piano, teachers

# posted by ArcoJedi : 08:24  0 comments

Labels: Delicious, funny, internet, music, music/artists, music/artists/weird-al-yankovic, people

# posted by ArcoJedi : 18:51  0 comments

As a follow-up to my previous post about reading music, here's a comedic parody of the state of Music Notation Today, courtesy of The Nib. These steps can be done in any order.

Labels: funny, music, music/notation

# posted by ArcoJedi : 15:16  0 comments

Did you ever get the feeling that you were talented, but you'd never reach moments of pure greatness?

SHOCKED!FACE is SHOCKED.

Labels: funny, music, music/artists, music/piano, via:youtube.com, video

# posted by ArcoJedi : 18:39  0 comments

I wrote a decent post yesterday about Steven Tyler as a judge on American Idol. I know I write from a hipster point of view more often than not and when I first heard that the (former?) lead singer of Aerosmith was going to be a new judge on the show, I was not immediately thrilled with the idea.

Labels: business, funny, music, music/artists, music/artists/aerosmith, television, television/american-idol

# posted by ArcoJedi : 23:59  0 comments

This is a pretty old comic at this point, but I saw it again (thanks Eddie!) and wanted to share it here. Thankfully, I know more about music than the dude in this comic, but it's still pretty funny.

I sound pretty knowledgeable about music until people figure out that I'm just naming bands from Guitar Hero.

Admittedly, I had never heard of some of the bands in the game and I'm not sure they would have caught my attention otherwise. The games have collectively exposed some of these bands to a larger audience than they would have gotten on their own. My understanding is that for the first Guitar Hero game, many of the bands and labels were hesitant because they didn't know how successful the game would be. For the sequel, musicians were vying hard for inclusion. I don't know if this is true, but it sounds good enough for me.

Addendum: For those who are confused, the comic came out pre-Guitar Hero II, meaning that it also predates Guitar Hero: Metallica. So there you go.

Labels: funny, music, music/artists, music/artists/metallica, video-games

# posted by ArcoJedi : 13:45  0 comments

I'm writing this post today because I truly believe that you haven't had enough facepalm moments in your life yet.

I follow Cracked.com on twitter and jumped to the link immediately when I saw the tweet about 7 Inventors You Didn't Know You Wanted to Punch In the Face. I expected to see a list of gadgets or technology that end up being annoyances or death traps. But starting with #7 it seems the first winner was really just a jerk with some legal tricks. But since the jerk in question was Mitch Bainwol, CEO of the RIAA, a group I've written about before and follow with some modicum of enmity, I took careful notice.

The article gives a bit of detail and some links about the history of the RIAA's legal campaign against individuals file sharing, the history of one of it's most important cases and Mitch's role in it. In regards to Cracked's article, it occurs to me momentarily that this does not make him an "inventor" but just a "suit". Still, the suggestion that someone (maybe me) would like to punch him in the face still stands.

Mitch Bainwol RIAA
Originally uploaded by SAITOR

I won't regurgitate the whole article here. I only suggest reading it and also catching up with the relevant Wikipedia page on the case referenced. In summary, before Mitch stepped up the plate, the RIAA's legal tactics against ISPs were barely making a dent in the so-called problem, so they took their fight down to the individual. What heinous criminal did they bring charges against? An organized crime boss? A street vendor selling pirated CDs? A Russian hacker?

No. They brought suit against a mother of four in her late twenties named Jammie Thomas, a Native American descendant from the great state of Minnesota. A classic David-and-Goliath story unfolds from there, of course, with retrials still lingering as recently as July 2009. Unfortunately, as it stands right now, the jury last sided with the plaintiff (wait,... what?!) finding her liable for damages totaling ... <drum roll here>

$80,000 Per Song?! That Adds Up to $1.92 Million?!!

Though the record companies alleged that the total number of shared files was 1,702 songs, they mercifully sought relief for only 24 of these. None of these numbers can be proven very well via evidence, but that's still nearly 2 million dollars that as of right now she legally owes. There are still motions, counter-motions and so forth flying around right now and the evidence seems mighty flimsy from my vantage point.

The point I want to especially highlight from the Cracked.com article was this witty snippet that I appreciated.

...she was found guilty of sharing the most embarrassing 24 song playlist imaginable with countless Internet users.

Isn't that just awesome? The actual list of all 24 songs is outlined for all of history in bold-faced type on Wikipedia. Just savor what Jammie must feel to know that the whole world gets a peak at her private music tastes. There's a smattering of classic rock, 90's era chick-rock alternative and some gooey pop. The artists included are Aerosmith, Bryan Adams, Def Leppard, Green Day, Janet Jackson, No Doubt, Richard Marx and Vanessa Williams among others.

It's pretty safe for the Cracked writers to point their fingers and laugh at the list, especially when they are clearly taking her side. It includes many songs that are good, but many of us wouldn't admit to liking publicly. And at the same time, I can't help feel some pity and solidarity with this mom that the RIAA has chosen to pick on. So in support of her and in empathy for her situation, I've created the following playlist with all 24 songs! So here they are, Jammie's Playlist, in no particular order. I dare you to listen to it and not sing along at some point.

More Information

• Wired.com - RIAA Trial Produces Playlist of the Century
• Free Jammie Forum
• StarTribune.com - Judge in Internet music sharing case may grant new trial
• arstechnica - File-sharing on the docket
• Copycense - Two Years Later, We Still Cannot "Free Jammie"

Found via Twitter / Cracked.com.

Update

I found this today (2010/09/26) on Reddit.

Labels: articles, copyright, funny, history, music, music/artists, news, reference, RIAA, stupid, technology, via:playlist.com

# posted by ArcoJedi : 00:36  0 comments

I've avoided watching American Idol for the last complete season. I'll admit that I had an uneasy like/dislike relationship with the show the first several seasons, but that I watched it when my wife watched it. Her interest in the show has dwindled down to non-existent from my perspective. There were dramatic parts of the show that I would get interested in when it was on, but as far as I'm concerned it's good riddance to bad rubbish.

I could write a long treatise on what I don't like about the show and the negative effects that have hampered the music industry. But I'll keep my elitism in check for right now. After all, as I mentioned there were redeemable moments that I can't ignore. There have been certain moments in the show that have been interesting and memorable that made for good television at the least. And some of the artists that graduated to stardom from the ranks of the contestants are worthy to stand alongside other more traditionally accomplished musicians.

But damn. The nerve of some of these... *sigh* ...kids can really annoy me at times. For a moment, let's focus on one named Jordin Sparks, winner of season six. I've appreciated at least one song of hers called Tattoo simply because the chorus captures an emotion I associated with the tattoo I got for myself when my son died. At it's heart, this song is a lost romantic love song. However, the theme is that someone who is gone will remain as a permanent mark on their heart. I can dig that just a bit.

Sparks' latest hit that is being overplayed on the FM dial is catchy, but altogether sounds way too familiar. And I don't mean to say that the lyrics or music were plagiarized. No, the problem is nothing so droll. It's the fact that the idea for the song's theme was already out there in a much more classic version. This story has already been told. This question has already been answered. The sad and annoying fact is that young Jordin may be too young to even know it. Confused? Perhaps the video evidence...

Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

The underlying question that young, naive Jordin is (repeatedly) asking here is WHY does love always feel like a battlefield? Hmph! What a dumb question. Do you really want to know why, Jordin? Would you like a source of wisdom to enlighten you? Well, there's no need for me to tell you what should be obvious. This question has already been answered by one of your elders and betters. And it was stated so elegantly back before you were born (probably). Once again, let's roll the video...

Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield

Did you catch that Jordin? Love feels like a battlefield, because IT IS a battlefield! So there you go. You might make a memorable songwriter some day Jordin. But the next time you get yourself up to asking silly questions, please be sure to consult the entire music catalog of Pat Benatar for the answer before you put any more silliness into song form. It might save you and us a lot of grief. Thanks! ::Jim

P.S. Actually, perhaps you shouldn't stop at just Pat Benatar. Other songstress classics from the 80s you should check out include Blondie, Bette Midler, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Donna Summer, Kim Carnes, Dolly Parton, Sheena Easton, Pointer Sisters, Abba ... (Who am I forgetting?). Anyway, I sincerely hope this helps. So much for keeping my elitism in check, huh?

Labels: ♫, funny, genre/pop, history, love, music, music/artists/jordin-sparks, music/artists/pat-benatar, music/lyrics, via:youtube.com, video

# posted by ArcoJedi : 23:59  0 comments

The Bordens - Theme From Star Wars

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music music/artists star-wars funny}.

Labels: funny, genre/soundtrack, movies, music, music/artists, star-wars

# posted by ArcoJedi : 01:11  0 comments

egoVader.mp3 (audio/mpeg Object)

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music star-wars parody stupid funny audio download ♫}.

Labels: audio, download, funny, genre/soundtrack, music, parody, star-wars, stupid

# posted by ArcoJedi : 14:34  0 comments

Jedi Drinking Test - Dust Rhinos - Celtic [mp3]

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music music/artists funny star-wars parody download audio ♫}.

Labels: ♫, audio, download, funny, genre/celtic, genre/comedy, music, music/artists, parody, star-wars

# posted by ArcoJedi : 23:29  0 comments

Album: Brobdingnagian Fairy Tales - Author: words and music John Ryan

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music funny star-wars music/artists parody download audio ♫}.

Labels: ♫, audio, download, funny, genre/celtic, genre/comedy, music, music/artists, parody, star-wars

# posted by ArcoJedi : 23:22  0 comments

Oh, this is classic.

I'm becoming a fast fan of Cracked.com and here is a prime example of why. They've put together a list of the Twenty Worst Album Titles of All Time and it covers a lot of ground. The list and commentary here is hilarious, but to web your appetite, I'm going to list the first five.

• C-Murder - The Truest Shit I Ever Said
• Fall Out Boy - Fall Out Boy' Evening Out with Your Girlfriend
• The Kinks - The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society
• Madonna - Music
• Fiona Apple - When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right

Looking over the full list of 20, I was feeling pretty cocky that I didn't own any of these... but then I spotted one that I did have (somewhere). I'm not going to admit which one so I leave it up to the reader to guess. Check out the article at CRACKED.com - The 20 Worst Album Titles of All Time.

Labels: funny, music, music/artists, music/artists/fiona-apple, music/artists/kinks, music/artists/madonna, via:cracked.com

# posted by ArcoJedi : 21:47  0 comments

Sweet Georgia Brown [mp3]

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music funny history sports ♫ audio download}.

Labels: ♫, audio, download, funny, genre/oldies, history, music, sports

# posted by ArcoJedi : 17:29  0 comments

Don't Download this Song - Weird Al Yankovic [.mp3]

Found via del.icio.us {tags: music/artists music music/artists/weird-al-yankovic funny download audio parody politics copyright}.

Labels: ♫, audio, copyright, download, funny, genre/comedy, music, music/artists, music/artists/weird-al-yankovic, parody, politics

# posted by ArcoJedi : 12:42  0 comments